A.B.U: THE IDIOT’S GUIDE SERIES THE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO EATING OUT (PART 1)

There are many ways to classify ABU students and one of my favorites is through food because in ABU, food only has two groups; those who cook and those who eat out. When I use the word “cook” what I really mean is people who’d rather starve than eat a meal outside and those who “eat out” probably can’t recognize a pot if you showed them a picture card. This classification is important because people who cook either can’t abide by the quality of food that passes for average here or generally feel no need for a social life (a pot of beans cooks for like three hours, between the cooking and the reading is there really time for anything else?). If you prefer to cook, please read for general knowledge. If you eat out, and for the occasional time where you don’t feel like lighting a stove (school banned electric cookers) this article is for you. Eating out in ABU is either done inside the school or outside. If you can’t be bothered to take the trek outside school, your options revolve around THE MONOPOLIES and the bistros. The monopolies are Pepsi Garden, the Frizzlers and the cafeterias scattered all across the hostels and the social centre (let’s hypothetically call them Danish). I call these restaurants The MONOPOLIES because there’s no one to favorably compete with them (ABUSRC please look into this, merci). In order of food quality the monopolies will be ranked like this: PEPSI GARDEN( four stars) As far as food goes inside the heavily guarded walls of A.B.U, the Pepsi garden has the best food hands down. They offer servings of waina (popular as a breakfast meal) jollof rice with all kinds of extra ‘toppings’ (for lack of a better word) and Semovita or Pounded yam (better known as swallow). Also they have clean booths/stalls/huts where customers can eat in relative peace and quiet. This makes Pepsi garden date worthy (if you don’t mind sharing with ten other people). And permit me to say that Pepsi Garden has the best salad in the Samaru region (I exaggerate not). That is what’s great about the garden, this is what isn’t. Their staff are so Friggin RUDE!!! They are so rude sometimes I wonder whether we pay for the food we eat there or we beg for it. They play favorites, pick fights with customers and basically pretend they’re doing us a favor by being there (they’re not!). Pepsi lacks variety, plain and simple. It wouldn’t be so bad if the problem was that they didn’t serve different kinds of food. The problem is that even the food they serve tastes EXACTLY the same EVERY SINGLE DAY! A friend of mine always jokes that they probably make their food with a cement mixer or make their food from ‘just add water’ sachets. Sometimes I pray they’d forget to add the salt or something just so I can say the food tastes different. Last but not least, Pepsi can be so overcrowded. If you’re dumb enough to go there during rush hour you might wait for an hour and not even get a bite to eat. So my advice is this, ignore the fact that their food might be factory produced, avoid rush hour and if you must, stick to salads. Average plate of rice + salad + Plantain + Pepsi = N280 FRIZZLERS(three stars) Frizzlers ‘fast food’ is the annex of the bigger and better Frizzlers eatery just a few metres from the flyover bridge so generally you’d think their food would have some level of class. Sadly, that is so far from the truth, their food is horribly bland. Their rice (on most days) tastes like finely garnished sawdust and don’t even get me started on the abomination they sell to people as salad. As in come on, they spread an annoyingly thin layer of lettuce, cabbage and onions over the saw dust rice and finish it with a miserly spoon of mayonnaise. The thing just depresses me whenever I see it. Their omelets look like it was made with half an egg and it’s either their chips and plantains are over fried or semi-raw and the food is always, always cold. If the food was bad but cheap, I wouldn’t complain, after they’re done serving you all that scary food, they’ll look straight in the eye and call one ridiculous price. O.M.G!. Enough of what’s bad about the place, and more of what’s good. If you must eat at Frizzlers, you have to try their fried yam, it’s absolutely palate stimulating. Their liver sauce is the best, (scratch that) the only liver sauce in ABU, they also have chicken, a rarity in this school which is nicely spiced but always cold (it wouldn’t kill you guys to have a microwave handy.) The place looks eccentric enough that it has a good date vibe (guys take note). Finally, there’s this server girl who is always refreshingly honest about how long you have to wait for your food. Average Plate of Fried yam + Liver sauce + Plantain + Coke = N360 DANISH (two stars) Their food is in a nutshell, very disappointing. There is always something wrong there, either there isn’t enough seasoning or the salt is enough to send you to the hospital. Their service is a big joke, most of the servers can’t speak proper English and you have to repeat your order at least thrice before you’re attended to. But if you can ignore the crappy food and the disappointing service, the Danish outlets have the most variety of food. They have the swallows (Eba, Akpu, semovita and pounded yam), all kinds of rice (fried, white, jollof, steam rolled even), waina and all the foodie accessories that make what serves as food in ABU manageable. I’d give them a D for food quality, an F for service and an A for variety. Plus, the food at Danish is reasonably cheap so when your pocket is yawning, head for the nearest hostel. Guys, just don’t try taking a girl you like there, the end will be disastrous! (a bit of T.M.I; ultimate restaurant in Danfodio is the best of the cafeteria restaurants, make sure you check it out sometime.) Average plate of Rice + Plantain + Salad + Coke = N270 If you’re anti-establishment or trying to dodge your controlling ex boyfriend (that happens to me a lot) then you should check out one of the out of the way bistros we have scattered around school. I picked the best possible three. SHAAZI This is the out of the way restaurant for the guy/girl missing home. The setting is homey with clean tablecloths and plastic flowers over tables and DIY decorations everywhere. Tucked in a corner of social center, you’d probably pass right by it and not notice. The food here is heavenly because it tastes just like home cooked food. The stews are rich and well seasoned and the rice is soft and fluffy. When you add the spacious environment to the good food and the fact that the place is unassuming, what you get is a date worthy restaurant. There are some things that just piss me off about Shaazi though; the place has really bad service. Most times you could sit in the empty restaurant for half an hour before you are attended to. All the staff move in slow motion. And despite how homely their food tastes, they serve it like you begged for your food instead of paying for it and they never have a good variety of food or drinks. My advice, when going to eat in Shaazi, make sure you bring a novel or some alternative form of entertainment, it’s going to be a long wait. Average plate of rice + coke = N300 KIL RESTAURANT I know this restaurant has a name and I’ve seen the posters all around school but I’ve never gone there. Care to know why? It is situated INSIDE the library. Any restaurant where I have to show identification to get into is automatically deleted from my to-do list, I’m paranoid like that. In the event that something catastrophic eventually pushes me into the library; think big, maybe like a tsunami in Kaduna,(it’s not that I’m afraid of Tsunamis, I just won’t get my hair wet for no reason) I’ll check it out. For what it’s worth, people who ‘live’ in the library don’t have to worry about going out eat anymore. (someone should please help me out with their prices, merci.) SWALLOW Swallow is the nickname for the restaurants who serve African dishes at community market. Like a biological ecosystem, Swallow serves an important function. If not for that place, rice would have probably sprouted from my head by now. So its first pro, is that it serves real food, all the important kinds; eba, pounded yam, amala, akpu and semovita and they serve goat meat which is much welcomed after all the beef we have to stomach. Even better, the place has bukateria vibes and the food is just a step below home cooked food. Whenever I go there, I wash my hands, push my books far far away and scatter ground. Best of all, the place is very VERY affordable. Trust Swallow they don’t dull when it comes to the bad stuff. Top of the list is the staff, they gossip like hell and they don’t even bother to hide it when they’re gossiping about you. Then the place has bukateria vibes, so while you might enjoy your food while eating there, don’t entertain any thoughts of bringing any girl you have any kind of interest in there, definitely not date worthy. But guys can always bring a few of their ‘department girls’ and bond over vegetable soup. Average plate of Pounded yam + goat meat + coke = N210 I won’t forget to mention the mai shayi joint at community market and the kosai and koko joints at community market and Dan.fodio gate who provide sharp-sharp meals. I can’t begin to tell you how many times they’ve saved my ass because I woke up late for class. If you can stomach the environment in which the food is made and are not a bigst boy or girl, they are a fun addition to your food timetable. Eating out in ABU is survivable if you know where to go and what to avoid. Part two will cover eating outside ABU. Keep you posted.

Gay Lecturer Arrested For Harassing Male Student

A lecturer in the Department of Public administration at the Ahmadu Bello University Zaria, Dr Gambo Abdul, has been arrested for allegedly harassing a male student Abubakar Abdulkareem into being his gay partner. LEADERSHIP gathered that the student had severally rebuffed the advances of the lecturer who wanted him to be his gay partner but became agitated when the lecturer threatened failure if he refused to succumb. It was gathered that following the threat from the lecturer who is from Minna, Abubakar reported the case to his parents. Consequently, the family of the student decided to investigate further and found out that the claim of their ward was true. LEADERSHIP gathered that the student was instructed to play along last weekend when the said lecturer invited him to a hotel located at Eastern Bye Pass in Minna. The lecturer made advances and was apprehended and taken to Chanchaga police division. Abubakar told LEADERSHIP that his ordeal in the hand of the lecturer started over two years ago when he was doing his Diploma programme at the University before he gained admission for his degree programme. He said that the said Lecturer was his caretaker which was why he was close to him but decided to stay away from him when he started to make illicit advances towards him. When contacted the police Public relation Officer, Pius Edobo confirmed the incident, adding that the case would be charged to court. This is one case in quite a number, where students of universities are harassed and cannot make their problems known for fear of being failed in a certain course. Asking students of Ahmadu Bello University on twitter what they thought about the incident, many claimed that the absence of a Student Union in the school has gone a long way to rid the student body of any rights they have. The last time a case like this rose up to public notice was when a certain student named Mary and her friends and other victims of lecturers published notices which they posted in every department in 2009, stating who the lecturers who were harassing students sexually were. Whether any action was taken then, no one can tell as most of those lecturers still parade themselves on campus.

NIGERIAN HIP POP STAR KELLY HANDSOME WILL BE AN ABU STUDENT NEXT SESSION

In a telephone interview on Samaru 101.1 Fm with Beevan D-Gonee on the Hip Pop Traffic Hour, hip pop artiste Kelly Handsome disclosed his intention to run a program in ABU next session and Theater and Performing Arts will be his preferred destination. He also mentioned the nature of his problem with Kennis Music, stating that after four years, he is yet to receive a cent from the record label which he is signed unto. His “too much money” album did not sell according to Kennis Music and hence he hasn’t gotten paid. Oliva A.K.A Don O an Edo state indigene and a student of Theatre And Performing Arts in ABU is his new manager and he is set to release his new album under Don O records which is also Oliva’s. On the issue of his album, Kelly tried to explain to his fans in ABU and beyond, that the reason he has gone on for more than three years without an album is because he has been refused his release letter from Kennis Music and this has brought his current manager and his former employers to the battlefield to get him the release letter to enable him do his work without risking more legal battles. The somewhat controversial Kellechukwu AKA Kelly Handsome also said he was asked by the Kennis Music label to pay ₦6.5 million but wasn’t clear on what he was asked to pay it for or to whom. ABU currently has its own fair share of acts, OcheDotCom being the most recognized. Kelly’s coming would probably mark the beginning of something new in ABU, with a little more coverage for a school with tons of talent that hasn’t really gotten the coverage it deserves.

UNN student commits suicide

A student from the university sent Linda Ikeji a mail about what happened University of Nigeria Nsuka early Thursday morning. The students of University of Nigeria, Nsuka, woke up to find one of their own hanging from a rope in an unfinished Franco building beside the hockey pitch in their school. Roommates of the dead student said he left the room around 2am that day and they thought he had gone to study, only for his corpse to be found dangling from a rope when daylight broke. He was a 3rd year Physics and Astronomy student in his early 20's. A purported suicide note which read, "The controversy is over" was discovered near him. The dead student, now identified as Onyebuchi Okonkwo had a mental illness last year and was hospitalized at UI for one month. So so sad. May his soul rest in peace

YFK makes it on Bellanaija AGAIN by dellagio on Jun 5 '12

YungKheengz is truly making waves, making it on the renowned website Bellanaija again. Six months after he released some singles from his coming soon mix-tape called “College Kid” the songs are still relevant to the times we are in. The young talented rapper who sounds too good to be from ABU has really got a thing for quality lines in his songs. Choosing not to just rap about girls, money cars and other vices, YFK as he is fondly called by his friends and fans talks about how much faith is needed in the times we find ourselves. Its easy for made artistes to lend their voices to the current state of the nation, but for a young up-coming artiste like Kheengz to do this, it shows bravery and immense understanding that legacies need to be made here YFK, on behalf of ABU students and all your fans, we say keep the good work up and don’t lose this quality you have. Our eyes are in the sky waiting for you to fly by…….

Exclusive: Olamide – Stupid Love Ft Samklef

It’s Either samklef leaked this joint or they both planned it. Few hours ago, Samklef and Olamide were exchanging words at each other on twitter. An hour Later, Stupid Love sneaked into my email. I guess their TwitFight was staged. Anywayz, bump Stupid Love.

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New Music: Kheengz – I Believe + If I Could

There is something about this dude, the way he raps is exceptional. He is back here with two tracks, one talking about the current situation in Nigeria and the other….. Listen, i won’t tell you! Another set of blockbuster songs from our before featured northern flavoured artist Kheengz pronounced Kings. This tongue twisting genius comes again with two awesome tracks from his upcoming mix tape dropping in d 4th quarter of 2012 titled “college kid”. The tracks are called “I believe” n “if I could”. THE TRACK, I believe is inspired by the current situation crises in the northern region and it is an inspiring and cool song that will touch ur very soul be u a nigerian or not.Here they are for u to download and enjoy. Also dnt forget to follow him on twitter @yungkheengz

BRAND NEW JAMZ FROM ONE OF ABU'S FINEST: Bubbling Under | Ice Blue – My World

Catchy Beat, Lovely hook, and Good Beat. Listen Up to Ice, he’s fresh!! ice blue is a talented singer who hails from Benue State.He took into music when he was in primary three and is soaring higher than u can imagine.Just like R Kelly,Late Houston and Faze,He started out in his church choir and is a perfect vessel that can contain your dreams and expectations of a true Nigerian vibe .A 400L industrial design student of Ahmadou Bello University Zaria, He has dropped hot, breath-taking singles like ”Tempted to touch”,”you rock my world”, to mention but few.He is still unsigned but i tell you,He is like time bomb, ready to explode

My Favorite of My Rap Verses

I cried alone, no, my shadow cried with me The key was right before me but the floor was too slippery I always got mocked I was also known as Get up-get out-and-get-a-job-for-your-grown-ass The key is on my pride but I’m chained to my shame I wanna see the end; it’s just ten bars away ‘Cos the doors are not unlocking doesn’t mean that I’m unlucky I’m losing all my losses, so, I’m waiting for my profit I used to watch from a branch of a sycamore tree I’m on top; I’m the man now kicking multis What happens next? Happiness, give me more please I’m glad today, a graduate of please-unlock-me I didn’t break the locks with some rocks or a tool-kit Don’t put your trust in the warden; it’ll be stupid Just walk back to my first lines on your two feet If you don’t look down you won’t see my footprints (from T-Majik's Chains Unlocked) Reuben “Rane” Abel

BLAZING JAMZ.. Lord Knows (I sabi) - D.I.A

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DOWNLOAD THIS BLAZING JAMZ BY ONE OF OUR OWN: SNOWFLAKES

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